None of Us are Getting Out Alive: The Case for Hospice Care

Let’s face it: We all have certain conversations we want to avoid. You know what we’re talking about: those awkward topics that could come up at home, work, school or when we’re out with friends. Things like being honest when a friend asks if they’ve gained weight (and they have); or when your boss has an idea that he just will not let go (and it’s terrible); or acting like everything’s fine and dandy around a patient who’s incredibly sick and getting treatment (but it’s not working).

That last one is a situation that has stigma written all over it. You don’t want to be THAT healthcare provider, or family member or friend, who breaks the ice and says, “Yeah, we should start talking about the funeral now.”

But, the fact is, for each one of us, death is inevitable.

“The bottom line is that none of us are getting out alive. But the real question is what do we want that to look like?” asks Stacie Beck, Executive Director, Crossroads Hospice, Cleveland, Ohio. “Do you want to go out kicking and screaming and fighting? OR with peace and grace and acceptance?”

Avoiding the death discussion is just a bad idea, because it could potentially interfere with finding that final acceptance and grace. If you think avoiding the discussion will make the patient or the family feel better, you’re wrong. In fact, one in 10 patients are referred to hospice too late.

What does “too late” mean? It means that those patients didn’t have the opportunity to take full advantage of the benefits hospice offers, such as:

Reducing pain and providing support for physical, psychological, social and spiritual needs of the patient

• Helping a patient feel better and live longer

• Retaining dignity of the patient

• Documenting the patient’s wishes for end-of-life care

• Helping the patient’s family with funeral arrangements

• Improving the overall quality of life for both the patient and family

There’s a misconception that it’s treatment of the illness that improves the overall quality of life. So, going into hospice care is counterintuitive. That’s not the case, says Beck. “It’s always a hard topic of conversation, and so variable.” She recently had a friend call her, whose mother has cancer, and her friend said, “She’s going to die from this,” yet she was still getting chemotherapy.

When Beck asked why, her friend quickly answered “To extend her life,” to which Beck answered “Well, now her body is fighting chemo and cancer.”

“[Hospice care] treats symptoms, not the illness,” Beck explains.

Beck, who has worked in an Emergency Room, is a Registered Nurse and has a Masters of Business Administration, has seen a huge array of patients in healthcare and hospice care. Through it all, she’s notice one constant. “There’s a certain expectation that all of us believe; that we’ll hit a certain age, and start dying.” We all walk around acting like we’ll be prepared for death when it comes knocking at our door; that it’ll be a quick to-do that everyone has to face at some point, like picking up dry cleaning or renewing a cell phone contract.

It’s not that easy. “[There’s] a grief process when you’re diagnosed. Acceptance is at the end,” Beck explains. Whether you start the stages of grief in your 30s or 70s, the most important factor into making end-of-life as pleasant as it can be is acceptance. Getting there is a journey in itself, since you need to go through depression and isolation, anger, bargaining and depression first. While most people will find acceptance before death, the “difference is how fast you get there,” Beck explains. “There’s no set time.”

Death is no picnic. Allowing a patient, family member, or yourself, to have some control as death nears is the most any of us can do. “I have the best job in the world, and I tell people that all the time,” Beck says. Before you think to yourself, “This lady is sick,” consider this: “We get to be part of the family,” Beck says. “It’s an honor and privilege to be able to walk through a transformative time of life.” By acknowledging the benefits of hospice care, and keeping the Crossroads perspective in mind, it’s possible to help each patient die with the ultimate gifts of peace, grace and acceptance.

To learn more about Crossroads Hospice, please contact us at 888-564-3405.

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