EvenMORE For You

What Is Leadership?!

By Danny Gutknecht
Even though I work with some of the best leaders on the planet, I don’t like the term leadership. It carries too much baggage. Most people in “leadership positions” have found a clever way to hack the system, to feel a sense of control, control that’s often dressed up as purpose.

And that’s not evil. It’s just human. And they put themselves there. But many of those people are quietly miserable. Or aren’t doing anything really meaningful with their time. I know, because I have been there — and I’ve also worked with leadership teams most of my life. Oh — the most effective people in leadership roles will readily admit all of this.

Back in 2013, I worked with Expedia when Dara Khosrowshahi was CEO, who has recently been turning Uber around. The team I worked with went on to produce six CEOs over the next five years. Dara introduced me to a rising star on his team, Aman Bhutani, who’s now the CEO of GoDaddy. You could see why Dara liked him. Aman was grounded, direct, and allergic to pretense. He literally tore down his office walls so he could connect with his team — not to monitor, but to work alongside.

I once asked Aman what he looked for when hiring other leaders. He said, “Self-awareness. If you can’t lead yourself, you can’t lead anyone else. If you’re buried in tasks, barking orders, or sprinting from meeting to meeting, you’re avoiding the things you need to address in your own thinking, in your own heart. You’re reacting, not growing. You and your team have no oxygen. You’re too worried about accountability, which is a wild goose chase.” 

Why? Because when a person doesn’t make space for their own growth. They’re focused on control. They want to feel important instead of making others important — or being important to the work itself.

If your job impacts others in terms of title, you must take time for your own development — particularly by someone who doesn’t sit in your daily politics or care about your personal drama. Leaders who don’t ”work at themselves” atrophy. The mind closes in. They start believing their own press releases, their own philosophy — and don’t grow. That’s when you see leadership teams unable to get on the same page or follow through. 

Like it or not, people in an organization bend their language to fit a leader’s ear. Peer to peer, and top down. It’s one of the most difficult feedback loops in business: a leader surrounded by people trying to keep the peace, or jockey for favor.

That’s why every leader needs a place of reflection fueled by friction. Someone who can hold the mirror still enough for them to see what they’d rather avoid. The tension in the gap between. Great advisors, coaches, therapists won’t make you feel good. You feel good because they were able to climb into the container with you, and work to keep both spines near the center.

What’s fascinating is how much of this is now supported by neuroscience. György Buzsáki, Daniel Kahneman, Jeff Hawkins, and Iain McGilchrist—each from different disciplines—have all arrived at a similar truth: real development requires diverse, sometimes dissonant, interactions that stretch us beyond routine. The brain, like the psyche, grows through friction, not ease.

I’ve been asked many times; how do you find a good leader?

You don’t. Not until you start with yourself. Then you realize: leadership isn’t worth defining. It’s something to practice – with relentless self-honesty.

Goals Without the Corporate Dress Code

By Emily Hammer
When most people hear the word goals, they immediately think of work. Metrics. Deadlines. Performance reviews. Numbers to hit, boxes to check. It’s almost like goals only exist in the land of spreadsheets and quarterly meetings.

Personally, goal setting gives me anxiety because:

1. I compare my goals to everyone else’s.
2. I set goals I don’t even believe I can achieve (because aren’t you supposed to “dream big”?).
3. I feel pressure to reach goals immediately—if not sooner. I don’t even give the seed time to germinate before I’m already frustrated with myself.

But here’s the truth: goals don’t have to wear a suit.

Some of the most meaningful goals you’ll ever set don’t have anything to do with your job title. They’re not flashy, and they’ll never make your résumé. They’re the kinds of goals that shape who you are, how you feel, and how you show up for others.

Think about it:

• Giving three genuine compliments a day.
• Smiling at a stranger instead of scrolling on your phone.
• Choosing patience in traffic or a long checkout line.
• Drinking more water than soda.
• Choosing to listen rather than talk.
• Setting aside five minutes to breathe before the chaos begins.
• Giving thoughtful reflection to the kind of impact you want to make in your world.

None of those will show up in your annual performance review, but every single one can change the tone of your day—and the energy you bring into the workplace. Those are the kinds of goals that actually move the needle.

Goals can (and should) stretch into other parts of life. Money goals like saving an extra $100 a month. Health goals like walking 20 minutes on your lunch break. Attitude goals like practicing gratitude or choosing to see problems as opportunities instead of burdens.

The beauty is these kinds of goals spill over. When you practice patience outside of work, you’re more likely to have patience inside of work. When you take care of your health, you bring more energy to the table. When you build financial stability, you carry less stress into meetings. And when you share these goals with others, you start a ripple effect.

We box ourselves into believing goals are only about climbing ladders or checking off tasks. But life isn’t separated into neat categories—work you and home you are the same person. Which means the goals you set in one area inevitably impact the other.

So maybe it’s time to zoom out and look at goals in a bigger, more human way. Not just “What do I want to accomplish at work this quarter?” but also “What kind of person do I want to be this week?”

Because sometimes the goal that changes your entire outlook isn’t “finish the report by Friday.” Sometimes it’s “say thank you more often.”

National Pastoral Care Week, also known as National Spiritual Care Week, is this week, October 19–25. In recognition of the importance of our Chaplains we are shining a spotlight on Chaplain Lisa Kroener of Crossroads in Memphis. She’s been a steady and compassionate presence for patients and their families since 2002.

Spotlight on Chaplain Lisa Kroener

Bringing Light, Peace and Presence to Patients and Families

For Chaplain Lisa Kroener becoming a chaplain wasn’t one single calling, it was a series of “seeds” planted throughout her life. After college, she worked with young children at her home church in Murphysboro, Illinois, where congregation members encouraged her to pursue ministry. 

Around the same time, her aunt entered hospice care, an experience that influenced Lisa’s path greatly. “I saw what hospice meant to people and I was so appreciative,” she recalls.
Lisa eventually moved to Memphis to attend seminary and to complete her Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) at a United States Veterans Medical Center. Those experiences confirmed her calling to chaplaincy and in August 2002, she joined Crossroads, where she’s been serving patients and families ever since.

A typical day begins with a team report at the office, followed by a mix of patient visits across assisted living facilities, nursing homes and private residences.

Love, Support & an Open Ear

Her focus each day is simple, yet deep: to bring comfort and presence. “It always comes back to being there,” she says. “Letting people talk, hearing their stories and bringing a sense of peace.” Whether patients have a strong faith background or none at all, Lisa believes her role is to reassure them that they are surrounded by love, support and an open ear.

One experience that continues to inspire her happened many years ago while visiting a patient at the very end-of-life. “The patient looked so peaceful, it was so different. Their eyes were barely open, just slightly focused,” she remembers. 

“It was like they were seeing a brighter light. I knew God was in control there.” After more than two decades of service, Lisa’s approach remains grounded in presence and listening, though she continues to grow each day. 

To those interested in chaplaincy, Lisa recommends talking with local pastors, volunteering or shadowing a chaplain. “Hands-on experience is best.”

Outside of her work, Lisa finds balance through quiet reflection, walks in the sun, working on her home and starting each morning with coffee and devotionals. What inspires her most are the people she meets each day and the opportunities each new day brings. “Even if yesterday wasn’t great, today is full of new opportunities.”

Chaplain Kroener’s journey is a testament to the power of compassion and presence. With every visit she helps patients and families find strength, meaning and a sense of calm at the end of life.