Grief & the Holidays: Gentle Ways to Make It Through

The holidays are meant to be a time of celebration. But for anyone who’s lost a loved one – even years ago – this season can feel anything but joyful. You may find yourself dreading traditions you once loved or struggling with memories that feel especially vivid this time of year.

If you're grieving, know this: you're not alone. Many people carry heavy hearts into the holidays. The good news is that there are gentle, affirming ways to care for yourself during this season. Grief is personal, but healing can be supported by intentional choices and compassion for your own experience.

Acknowledge that this year may feel different.

The first and most important thing to remember is that it's okay for this holiday season to look and feel a little different. Traditions may feel bittersweet. Joy may be fleeting. You don’t need to pretend otherwise. Give yourself permission to honor your grief.

Choose what to keep and what to let go.

You don’t have to do everything the way it’s always been done. Ask yourself: what feels meaningful? What feels too painful?

It’s okay to change traditions or skip them altogether. You may also find comfort in creating a new tradition in memory of your loved one — like lighting a candle, sharing a favorite story, or donating to a cause they cared about.

Make a plan. And a backup plan.

Sometimes the anticipation of a holiday can be worse than the day itself. Having a loose plan for how you’ll spend your time can help. Consider preparing a Plan B – or even Plan C – in case you need space, quiet, or a quick exit from a gathering. Your wellbeing comes first.

Take the help that’s offered.

Grief can make even small tasks feel overwhelming. Let friends and family help with shopping, decorating, cooking, or simply keeping you company. Saying “yes” when someone offers support isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s an act of strength and self-care.

Include your loved one in the day.

Your loved one is still part of your story, even if they’re no longer physically present. Incorporating their memory into the holiday can bring comfort and a sense of connection. Try writing them a letter, making their favorite dish, or setting aside a moment of silence in their honor.

It’s okay to laugh. It’s okay to cry.

Grief doesn’t have to look like sadness every moment of every day. There may be laughter and joy, too. That doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten your loved one. On the other hand, if you find yourself overwhelmed with emotion, that’s okay too. Crying is a natural and healthy response.

Ask for professional support.

Sometimes grief can feel too heavy to carry alone. Hospice bereavement coordinators and grief counselors can help you talk through what you’re feeling and offer tools for healing. Support groups can also connect you with others who understand.

You are not alone.

The most important message to take into this season: you are not alone. Whether your loss is fresh, or many years behind you, your pain matters. Crossroads Hospice & Palliative Care is here to walk you through it. If you need extra grief support this season, we’re available 24/7. Call us at 888-603-6673.

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